Monday, October 1, 2007

It's So Hard to Find Good Help These Days..

Sorry for the long pause between this post and last, my friends. I could bore you to tears with all the events that conspired against me getting time to blog, such as my Projectile Vomiting Toddler, my Ever Increasing Workload, my Never Done Laundry Pile, blahbittyblahblahblah, but you know the song just as well as I do.

It's really not my fault, though. It's my maid's. See, she hasn't been coming around here much for about the last fifteen years, so I have been forced to do all the housecleaning myself. I think she spoke to my personal assistant, because I haven't heard from her in a long time either. More like never. So all those pesky little errands that I had previously delegated to her? Now guess who gets to do them. Then there's my chef, the one who shops for, puts away, and prepares the healthy nutritious food my family and I require. She hit the road sometime around 1992. I think she ran off with my personal trainer. That's the only thing that can explain these love handles of mine. If he were here, they wouldn't be. And don't even get me started on my masseuse. Ungrateful little twit. And after all I'd done for her! Like think about hiring her! She wanted paid and a set schedule? What's up with that?

So, folks, I am sorry but it really really really isn't my fault. If you find these guys, let them know I am seriously ticked...and they are all fired.


Robyn said...

No, you need to fire your manager. She's supposed to keep track of these people for you, right?

Jessica said...

I think your trainer ran off with my maid...I hate those guys. I know for sure that my chef hates me because he/she (depends on the who's manning the drive-thru) keeps feeding me too many calories.

No really, I am doing a fitness challenge thing at work, which starts tomorrow so I loaded up this week to pad my numbers.

Also belong to the health lunch thing at work where we take turns making lunch. Rules are 500 calories or less and no red meat. So far I've eaten some amazing lunches.

Missie said...

I would fire my manager if I could find her! I think she became part of Witness Protection...

Are you friend Jessica or a new Jessica? Either way, your lunches sound yummy. Give us some recipes!

G said...

Sure, keep talking about your maids, personal trainers, and chefs that ran away. I'm just looking for my mind. That left about 3 1/2 years ago. Don't even know where I can get another one!