Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Holiday Snark Trifecta- Part Dork...

Beth over at StarvingWriteNow and Robyn from Picnic at Stonehenge were kind enough to include me in their snarkapalooza to bring about holiday cheer...but due to severe dorkage and not paying attentionitis, my part of this is late. So extremely sorry, but please to be enjoying the following horrible covers....

The Boss's Christmas Proposal:

Robyn: Uh, hi there…this is the Throckmorton and Sons Christmas party, right? Look, lady, I’m just here for the free buffet

Beth: "I propose... we boom-boom looonng time."

Missie: I propose HQ find a new cover.

Christmas Wishes, Mistletoe Kisses...

Robyn: He wants a kiss because his Christmas sweater didn’t fit.

Beth: How many hickeys is he hiding under that turtleneck?

Missie: You are super studly and all, but I really wish Santa would bring you a neck for Christmas.

Rescued by the Magic of Christmas:

Robyn: The magic of Christmas gave them gloves and hats but not coats?

Beth: She: Too fast! You're going too fast! I'm gonna puke! He: Who the **** decided I should drive this stupid thing?

Missie: Thomas Kincade thinks this cover is too cutting edge.

Her Best Christmas Ever!
Robyn: It will be her last Christmas ever if he doesn’t realize babies CAN’T EAT COOKIES YET.
Beth: Obviously New Dad doesn't know that Traction Baby is too young for cookies...
Missie: See, I told you Junior looks like a gingerbread man! Do you believe me now?
Head on over to Beth's and Robyn's blogs for more holiday snarktime fun!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Santa Baby

Me: Alison, you better straighten up!

Alison: NO!

Me: Okay, I will just tell Santa when he calls that you are being a very bad girl. He won't like that.

Ali: (short pause, thoughtful look) Can we call Santa, Mommy? I wanna talkta Santa! I call him on yer phone! Santa, wheh ahh you?

Me: (slapping self upside the head for thinking this would work)

The next day.....

Ali: Mom, when Santa gonna call? I talk to him? I tell him bring me some pwessent! For Chwissmas! I yike Santa! I call him now, okay?

Me: (again with the slapping)

The next day....

Ali: I doen yike Santa.

Me: You don't like Santa?!

Ali: No. I doen yike him. He mean.

Me: Oooooh, you better not say that! He won't bring you any presents!

Ali: I juss kidden! I yike him yots, Mommy! He nice. I just kidden.

I asso yike yong walks on da beach, Dora, and canny. You habb some canny? I can habb it?