That's Miss Blogger to You...

It was a hot, humid July evening in Idaho. The sun was still beating down on those of us gathered in the park to celebrate our friend's birthday. There were hot dogs, tacos, chips, laughter, water balloon volleyball, and lots of little kids--all the ingredients for a great time.


My husband and I felt a bit out of place since the only people we knew out of the approximately 25 people there were the Birthday Girl, BG's husband, and their two kids. We had been sitting at the picnic table quietly talking to our host for about ten minutes when he decides that introductions are in order. A very pretty lady happened to be getting a drink right by us when our host, BG's husband, my former friend, loudly announces, "Hey, you should meet Missie! She's a blogger too!"

And in that moment, the Lord received a prayer in which I requested the Earth open up and swallow me whole.

For the lady he introduced me to? Has like a REAL BLOG. Where she writes beautiful, thought-provoking, profound posts about actual subjects. Oh, and accompanies them with professional pictures--that she takes. Of course this has to be the very first person that I am ever introduced to as a "blogger." Absolutely of course...

She very politely asked me, "What is your blog name? What do you write about?" or at least I think those were her questions. My brain was still short circuiting at that point, busy planning a very painful demise for BG's husband, who from now on forever shall be known as Mr. Big Mouthy McTraitorPants. (I am just kidding. I won't actually call him that EVERY time I see him.) I mumbled something like "You really don't want to come by my blog. Seriously. It's not very good and I do alot of talking about my kids."


(Can I just remark on my stupidity? Here I am, typing on my laptop, and I stopped to open up my cell phone to CHECK THE TIME. BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE MY LAPTOP HAS A LITTLE CLOCK IN THE CORNER OR ANYTHING. Some people!)

She was very nice and took my blog information, and has even stopped by. I had somewhat gotten over my embarrassment by the time we came home on Saturday night and then...I looked at her blog. Um, yeah. I kinda felt like one of those people on American Idol (patooie! hate that show!) who gets up to show off her singing ability only to find out one of the guest judges is the featured soprano at the Metropolitan Opera.

To all five of you who regularly stop by here, I would like to say thanks and that I am sorry. I will try to make the content better in the future. Or try to at least HAVE content. Or maybe just be content. I forget.

But for now, I will revel in my title of "Blogger." You don't have to bow when you see me. A simple nod will do.


p.s. Did y'all see I have two followers? TWO! And I am not related to either one of them! One is a friend from college, and one I had never heard of before until I saw she was a follower! I have people, people! Now I am off to work on our secret handshake.

How Much Do I Stink???

Seriously. Who writes a post about why she likes to blog and then doesn't blog for about two months? Sheesh. If I were my own employee, I would totally fire me. Or put me on notice. Or write me up. Or at least look at me with very scrunchy eyebrows and huff about how lazy "some people" are.

Things are good here in my little corner of the world. We went on a great family vacation to Northern Idaho in early June. We stayed and played around Coeur d'Alene and Post Falls, traveled through some Indian reservations, ate at little out of the way places, splashed in rivers, fished, went to a small fair--just did things with no agenda, no timetable, as it occured to us so we did. Our last day, we went to Silverwood Amusement Park and had a blast. It was nice and relaxing and wonderful and when can I go again please thankyouverymuchokaybye.

The rest of June was taken up with planning Alison's fourth birthday party (which was so fun), Roger's birthday, and Father's Day. Squeezed in there somewhere was a thirty six hour trip to San Diego for a one day conference. That was fun, but hectic, and always leaves me so tired afterwards.

July has been hot here in Idaho. As in bake a potato on the sidewalk hot. This should not be so, my friends! July is supposed to be pleasant, August is supposed to mirror the surface of the sun. We spent the Fourth at my inlaws' house in the mountains about two hours north of here. It is always so nice to go up there and just hang out. They have a wonderful huge porch that is just perfect for sitting in the shade with a cold drink and watching the birds, deer, or ATVers go by. Also in attendance were the Super Grandparents (my fatherinlaw's folks) and my mom, so it was a mini-family reunion in addition to Festival of Constant Eating.

This week, we are headed to a different mountain range for a few days. Some friends of ours rented a house and invited us to come join them. We are so looking forward to it. We haven't been to this little mountain town for about five years. It is quaint and peaceful and such a beautiful drive getting there. We leave Wednesday morning and will return Friday.

For a week in August, I will be heading to California for work. While I am looking forward to getting in a little shopping while there (Crate and Barrel, I love you! Call me!), I am dreading the long hours and the time away from the family. My husband is so good, can I tell you? To handle the kids for a week at a time while I rush off to work is the mark of a good man. And usually, the house is only a tad messy when I come home. (no, you can't have him, he's mine. Go get your own.)

I usually enjoy about a day or two away from the fam, but at about Day Three, the loneliness and longing sets it...and that's about the time I start eating for comfort. This time, I am determined to not be carrying some extra California weight on me when I come home.


I miss those of you who are my blog-only friends...so check me out on Facebook. I update there very regularly, but seem to forget about here. Why? Because I stink. Sorry. :) Check in here and let me know how you are!

And now, lest you forget whose blog you stumbled on to, let me post some obligatory pictures of my kid...wait. Never mind. All the pics are on Roger's computer. Huh. Well, you are spared for now.

Takin One for the Team

Current location: A lovely dining room, overlooking a pool, golf course, and beautiful changing trees in the lake country of Wisconsin.

Current mood: Happy and caffeinated.

Current reason for being in current location and current mood: Attending a conference for work and lots of coffee.

Current surprising facts: Managed to get myself from Chicago O'Hare Airport up to said lake country without getting lost. In fact, stopped along the way for lunch, shopping, and wonderful conversation with some of the nicest people ever.

Current plan: Getting ready to go set up our exhibit booth for the conference. Will then probably drive down to quaint little lake town for some shopping for Mother's Day presents and other goodies. Possibly lunch at another lovely dining room overlooking another lake. And maybe to blog more later. Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Current thing I need to do but maybe won't and certainly don't want to: Go work out in the resort's state of the art health facility.

Life is hard, my friends. Life is hard...

Because You Care...

Sometimes, I wonder why I blog.

I don't consider my life particularly blog-worthy, as nothing much out of the ordinary seems to happen. If my blog were a food, it would be Wonder Bread. If my blog were a beverage, it would be a two-liter Diet Coke that gets put back into the fridge after SOMEONE else in the house opens it, drinks half, then doesn't screw the lid on tight. If my blog were a movie, it would be a Lifetime Original...only without a plot, good acting, or costume changes. If my blog were a medicine, it would be Tylenol PM. If my blog were an article of clothing, it would be the the ratty flip-flops in the back of the closet. Not quite horrible enough to throw away, but definitely not cute enough to continue wearing.


And yet still, I blog.


Maybe because it's cheaper than therapy. Maybe because I don't want to have yet another item on my list of Things I Have Started With Great Intentions but in Reality, I Suck At. (see Body Jam Class, Dieting, Keeping Mouth Shut, et all). Maybe because blogging keeps me in the game of writing, and giving up on it would mean the last nail in the coffin of my dream to write my own book. Maybe I just want to guilt all of you whose blogs I read and comment on to keep coming back here, even though you are thinking, "If she posts one more stupid rambling story, then gives us a picture of her kid, like that's supposed to make it all better, I am going to scream!"


Whatever the reason, I will continue to blog. Because I do like it. When I remember. (darn you, Facebook!)


In other news: I am currently waiting in the only sit-down restaurant in the Orange County airport for my flight, which was supposed to leave twenty minutes ago, but is instead leaving in about two hours. I really don't care when it leaves, as long as I get to see my familia tonight. I have been in California working since Sunday afternoon, and am more than ready to be home. The weather here has been pretty cold. I think that is a total rip, because I LEFT COLD in Idaho. Here it is supposed to be sunny and allow me to work on my tan at the hotel pool when I am done with my job for the day. It's the law!

My next business trip is in four weeks to Chicago. I am really looking forward to that one, as it will be my first solo business trip and conference. Now if I can only lose about 75 lbs before then....

Actually, on the weight loss front, things are going well. I am into week three of The Belly Fat Cure by Jorge Cruise, and am loving it. At last, I have found something that I can do, not feel deprived, eat normal food, and still lose weight. At last measurement, I have lost about three inches off my waist in three weeks. I was down almost five pounds before my trip, but we will see what the scale has to say when I get home. I usually always gain at least 2 lbs on a business trip, even when I eat right and work out every day. Something to do with the space/time continuum and a train leaving Boston at the same time a car leaves Jersey and the fact that some of my favorite restaurants in the world are right by my hotel. Or something. I forget.


I hope that you all are enjoying Spring and have a great Easter if I don't blog before then--which I may not, seeing as how much of my time this next week will be spent peeling an almost four year old gremlin off me (where she attaches herself as soon as I get home) and celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary on Friday. Go, Us! And they said it wouldn't last....

'Member me?

Hey, gang. How all y'all been? Sorry for being MIA for so long. Does it seem to anyone besides me that Facebook is like blogging for lazy people? It is so much easier to update my status with a quick one-liner than actually take the time to type sentences with subjects and verbs and stuff.

As you probably could tell by my previous post, I spent some time in the Big Apple recently for a business trip. I did get to take in some sights while there, and unfortunately, spend way too much money on souvenirs for the family. After spending a few days in NYC, my company sent me to Philadelphia for some more client meetings. Philly is so rich in history and really stirred this American's heart. However, some parts of Philly are just downright scary. And that is all I have to say about that.

One great side benny of my trip to New York was meeting my friend Geanne in person for the first time. We met on a WW chatroom site about a year and a half ago, and she has turned into one of the best friends I've ever had. I was a little worried about how we would get along in person...would she like me as much? Would she think I was stupid or too goofy or just plain weird? Well, I shouldn't have worried at all. We had such a fun time! We ate at a wonderful little restaurant in Little Italy, then shopped for goodies in Times Square. The next day, we went to the WTC site, which for me was just as moving the second time I'd seen it as it was the first. We then walked down to Wall Street, then onto the 17th Street Seaport. From there, we took a cab back to Madison Avenue for still more shopping. We finished off our day with lunch in Chinatown--can I tell you Chinatown was not what I expected? I guess I was thinking it would be more, oh I don't know, CHINESE in nature...I was hoping for a bit more culture and all I got was very short Asian ladies chasing me down the sidewalk yelling, "You want puhse? (purse) I got Looeeey (Louis Vuitton), I got Dooney! How 'bout moobies? You lika watch moobies? (movies, not something else, you freak.) I got DeeBeeDees!"

I was sad to see her leave..my friend Geanne, not the Asian lady. I was glad to see her leave...the Asian lady, not my friend. Anyway, seeing my friend really made my trip, and we are planning to have another girl's weekend the next time I get to NYC.

Okay, here's a question for all of you...have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? I will do you one better..have you ever been told you look like a celebrity's neighbor? Yeah, I didn't think so. Anyway, I am on the flight to NYC in first class (which the airline did on their own, I normally don't get to fly first class anywhere) and the steward in the cabin told me that the way I was dressed, he assumed I was a native New Yorker and could be "Kelly Ripa's neighbor!" Um. Okay. How does one respond to that? "Oh, is Kelly Ripa's neighbor an overweight middle aged mother of two? Great!" And y'all? I was not dressed up. I had on embellished jeans and a plain sweater from Coldwater Creek, and shoes and jewelry courtesy of a very exclusive shop I like to call Kohl's (perhaps you've heard of it?) It was not my finest hour. But maybe first class attendants are told to compliment the passengers? Not sure, but I really did enjoy my time as one of the chosen few. On the return flights, I was forced to sit behind the veil with the unwashed masses, lamenting my loss of an actual person-sized seat and a nice warm meal.

The trip was about six days total, and believe you me, by the end of that time I was so missing my family. My husband and son missed me too, but my daughter? She was just mainly concerned that I bring her a present. Every phone call began with, "hey, Mommy, you got me dat gerrprize (surprise) yet?" We are not going to discuss all Mommy had to go through to get that certain gerrprize, because Mommy hasn't quite recovered from that yet.

On another completely unrelated note (because really? All my posts are completely unrelated notes), we have to move AGAIN at the end of this month. The house we are currently leasing has went into foreclosure and we have to be out by April 1st. We had placed an offer on the house, the bank in their wisdom decided that no, in this bad economy we want more! and if we can't have more, we will let the house go vacant instead of getting this bad debt off our books! We found another house within walking distance of my son's school in a very nice neighborhood, so that is a blessing. It's just the moving. The moooovvvvving! I hate the moving! Another nice note is that the house is not even a half mile from here, so we can just move carloads of stuff over very easily, then worry about the big stuff...and there is plenty of big stuff... The house we are going to has the exact same floor plan as this one, so I will be able to empty one cabinet and immediately unpack it to the corresponding cabinet in the new house. That is a biggie for an organizational freak like me.

Now it is time for me to head to the gym...a place I haven't been to nigh onto three weeks. My energy level and waistline confirm my long absence.

If you are on Facebook and would like to friend me, look me up. I am obviously not listing my info here, but if you know me enough to know my info, then you know me enough to be my fb friend. Have a good one, y'all!

p.s. what celebrities do you resemble? People have told me I remind them of the following: Marie Osmond, Rachael Ray, Valerie Bertinelli, Pam Tillis (that one I don't get), and Natalie Wood. Oh, yeah, and Kelly Ripa's neighbor.

I shall call this one Ode to Robyn

Since she can't be here with me enjoying the "Storm of the Season," I am presenting her with the next best thing...

and finally....

Why Mothers Have Gray Hair...

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillowthat was addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened theenvelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...... Mom, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading itwith the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Thanks, Betty, for the laugh! Y'all have a great weekend. The fam and I are off on a road trip to visit my mom for the long holiday weekend...Six hours in a car with kids who like to fight--y'all pray!